i love u

i have to much love, and i want to share it with you....

please take my love and share the joy to someone else

It is almost 6, and I have been trying to force myself to sleep over and over again, and every time I woke up, it gets harder to doze of. Somehow, my brain is too active and it wont let my weaken body to have it daily rest.

Too many things linger on my mind, and much of it does not affect me to much. Work seems to be the most knotty issues and taken most of the drawer in my mind. Compartmentalizing my problems into different areas does not seem to work. I tend to forget the problem when it if left too long in the drawer.

When I eventually remembers it, and when it remind me of how serious the problem is, I quickly push it back into the drawer, close the door and look the key. I have serious problem with procrastination.

And I realized this problem; it is just that when you wait for too long, problems seem to be piling up like mountain.

So many things to do, but so little time to actually finish it and this is especially true when you wait until the very last minute to settle the problem. .

It occurs to me that sometimes, we tend to forget the important things, and we tend to focus on the least important issues first, because that’s the easiest to settle and to find solution of. But then i realized, most of the unimportant puny almost non-existence issues does not really my problem after all. It belongs to someone else, but I somehow offer myself to be the problem solver, affecting all the important ones that should have been taken care of.

One of it, the important one that is, which I tend to forget most of the time is, to tell you habibie that you mean a lot to me, and how you have turn my life upside down, and making me confused and dazed and stunned and bemused with your antics and your unimportant views, which you think will settle world problem and nuclear war, which in fact is just a waste of your precious minute thinking about it. But somehow your unimportant views filled most of the space in my compartmentalized brain.

And every time I close my eyes all I can think is you, and every breathe that I take spells your name and every single nucleus and cell in my body attached to the DNA is you.

But, I usually forget to tell you this is what I am going through, and having perceptions that you knew, while in actual you don’t, because you can see the expected level of seriousness of my taught, since it is left in silence in the brain.

So in order for me to sleep now, let me open up some of the drawer and show you that most of it is filled with you inside.

You are important.

Habibie I love you, no matter what.